At times he wants nothing more than to be held and cuddled and is totally "needy". But then, turn the page, and he wants total independence. That is exactly how I am (and have been for much of my life). Basically, we just want what we want, when we want it. We want to have things our way.
I am OK with independence. How else is he going to learn to do things? But, let's be honest, sometimes it is easier to keep them from having it. When you let your 8 month old feed himself, because he really wants independence at meal time, we are going to end up with this.
What I'm not OK with are the fits that come when he wants to do something himself (something I was VERY often guilty of when I was a kid).
- He wanted to eat his yogurt all by himself.
- OK, I'll let you give it a whirl.
- I scoop a small amount of yogurt onto his spoon and hand it to him.
- He smears it on his cheek and eventually gets the spoon in his mouth.
- Once he is done, he puts the spoon onto his tray, and I pick it up to put more yogurt on it for him.
- SCREAMING commences.
- I either tell him no or ignore it and calmly give him the spoon again.
- Screaming quits, and we start the cycle again.
Discipline with a baby? It's hard, confusing work.